The Suicidal Duck

Duck close up

I was in shock. My kid was traumatized. And the duck was dead.

I was a single mom for a long time. And I was fairly young when I had my first daughter. So you can say that she and I sort of grew up together. Although, if you ask her, she’ll tell you she’s the mature one. And I’m ok with that.

When she was younger, we lived a bit of a distance from her school and my job, which meant that in order to get anywhere on time, I took a lot of shortcuts around traffic and through all sorts of neighborhoods, one of which was near a canal that was home to lots of ducks.

Now, neither my daughter nor I are morning people. Which sort of worked out since neither one of us was thrilled to be awake so early nor fond of having to speak. So we just sort of grunted at each other or rode in silence. Unless a good song came on. Or an apropos one.

Like the time we happened to be driving by the ducks and “Shake Ya Tailfeather” came on. And I cranked it up, rolled down the window and started singing and dancing along. Surprisingly, she found that amusing. And that was no easy feat. It’s incredibly tough to appease a teenage girl, believe you me.

So one day, as we came up on duckville, my kid pointed at me and yelled, “Duck!”

Me: Dude, what the hell is wrong with you? I know there are ducks.

Her: Duck!!!

Me: Stop yelling!

Her: Duck!!!

Now I’m thinking, “Oh, shit, are there gunshots or something?” (It is Miami after all)

Me: I can’t duck. I’m driving!

Her: NO! DUCK!!!!!

The next thing I knew, there was a loud THUMP! and a SPLAT! as I turned just in time to see a duck fly directly into my driver-side window.

Needless to say, that did not turn out to be a very good day. Not for me. Not for my daughter. And certainly not for the duck.

I was in shock. My kid was traumatized. And the duck was dead.

Have you had any strange encounters with wildlife? Leave a comment below!



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