Password Protected

Change PW

No, Goddamnit.

It seems that in today’s technologically driven world, we are constantly under threat of attack. All of that technology that makes things easier for us also makes things easier for wanna be assailants.

Not so long ago, if you wanted to pay a bill, you would have to physically go to a brick and mortar establishment and pony up some cash (or check, or money order.) Then we advanced to mailing payments to some P.O. Box somewhere. Which always left me wary.

I mean, I could just see it. A company was forced encouraged to hire the boss’s son who was supposed to check the mailbox but was instead smoking a spliff with his buddies. Then when he was discovered months later, felt compelled to destroy the evidence and claim ignorance. Not that I know anyone (tons of people) like that or anything.

Thankfully, today, we no longer have to rely on Biff to get our bills to their intended destination.

We can use handy dandy little gadgets to do anything from pay bills to deposit checks, without ever having to visit an establishment that takes or processes those items.

But with all that convenience, comes danger in the form of identity theft.

Unless you’ve somehow managed to live “off the grid,” (in which case, you wouldn’t be reading this) almost all of your personal information lives on some “cloud” somewhere or has traveled to or through it.

And even though it sounds all cute and stuff, because clouds are usually all white and fluffy, I don’t trust it. There are also those super ominous gray ones.

But, as much as I don’t like the whole “cloud” thing, I like convenience more.

What I dislike even more, however, are all of these rules whereby you have to change your password every 10 minutes. And it can’t be your name or your pets name. Or your birthday. Or the nuclear launch codes.

It has to be 527 characters long and include numbers, special characters and 3 strands of your firstborn’s hair.

And, to add insult to injury, it can’t be remotely like any other password you’ve used in the last 5 years.

So when that dreaded little message used to pop up and alert me that my password was going to expire, it would make me homicidal. Especially because it asked if I wanted to change it now. And I would always yell at my monitor, “No! Goddammit. I do not want to change my password now but you’re not really giving me an option, are you???”

With at least 10 or more sites I frequent for which I need passwords, how the fuck am I expected to remember them all?

The answer is, I don’t. And then I have to use the forgot password feature. And then I forget the answers to all the crazy clues I had to establish when I chose said password.

And then I curse and kick and scream. And long for the simpler times when all I really had to complain about was not having a fucking stamp.

Do you have a trick for remembering all your passwords? Leave a comment below!

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