Boyfriend Jeans

z-cavaricci-pants-2

This is another concept I just don’t get.

I’m vertically challenged. And I have curves.

Like an itty-bitty-waist-and-a-round-thing-in-your-face kinda curves.

And until fairly recently, it was impossible to find that jeans that fit. And fit the way I like them to.

Not tight. But not Z. Cavaricci baggy. Although I did totally rock that look in the 80s. They were awful. But at least they fit my bubble butt.

But, until people like J.Lo started making big butts a “thing,” I had to pick out jeans that fit my ass and thunder thighs – or as some idiot I dated in highschool used to say with his speech impediment, “funder fighs” – but were huge around my waist. So I could never bend over or squat. Because ass crack.

And I’d always just end up cutting a few inches off the legs with a pair of scissors because I knew that I would never take them to a seamstress. Plus, I kind of dig the whole frayed edges look. But really, it’s because I’m lazy.

Anyway, what I’m trying to get at is that I don’t want to look like I’m wearing my boyfriend’s pants. Firstly, because I like guys that are bigger than me. And it makes me sad when my boyfriend’s pants fit me.

And it just makes me borderline suicidal when my boyfriend’s pants don’t fit me. Because they’re too small.

Like the one time I was lamenting to my husband that I had gained so much weight that my jeans didn’t fit me and he suggested I borrow his. And they didn’t fit. Because they were too small.

I took out a life insurance policy on him.

How do you feel about boyfriend jeans? Leave a comment below!

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