Take the Next Step Now

Mystery

That was the message my Oracle card delivered today.

I had asked for guidance about my career, for messages about opportunities for additional income and for inspiration for a speech I need to deliver tomorrow.

I believe the Universe is conspiring to bring me all that I desire and that what I receive is a direct reflection of my thoughts and actions.

So often, I’ve found myself dwelling in negativity. Rehashing the past or stressing about the future. But the truth is that I can’t change the past. I can only learn from it. And I cannot control the future because it is, indeed, a mystery.

What I can do is focus on the Now and exert control over what I am able to – my thoughts.

And so today, I will think positive thoughts. I will be still and listen to my inner voice. I will look for the synchronicities that surround me. I will elevate my vibrational frequency to match my desires so that I may be open to receiving all the guidance, blessings and abundance the Universe is sending me.

If you’re curious about what my Oracle reading was, I’ve provided it below. Pretty trippy huh?

If you feel stalled or stuck, this card is offering a solution. It’s time to take action. Even a small step in the direction of your vision will help you feel a sense of progress and hope. You already know what the next step is, as your heart is leading you there.

Imagine what you would do if you had unlimited time, finances, and energy. This is your answer. As you step into the world of the unlimited, your resources come to you exactly as you need them . . . provided that you listen to and follow your inner wisdom. Remember that you will never be asked to do anything that could harm you or a loved one, as your Divine guidance is a conversation of love.

via Daily Prompt: Mystery

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I Feel Ghoulish. Oh, So Ghoulish!

Abyssal_ghoul_4E

Me when I’m hungry

Some people get really irritable when they haven’t eaten. I believe the term for that is hangry.

But for me, hangry is an understatement. I feel downright ghoulish. In fact, that’s actual footage of me when I go too long without food.

I feel ghoulish
Oh, so ghoulish
When I’m hungry, I’m in a bad mood.
And I pity
Anyone who doesn’t give me food.

Happy Halloween!

via Daily Prompt: Ghoulish

Uniquely You. Uniquely Me. Together We.

 

Seuss

You are a trademark. There is no other quite like you. And that is something to be celebrated.

You are unique, yet you are not alone in your uniqueness.

Yes, there is only one you as there is only one me. But WE are not separate beings. We are connected. We all come from the same Creator. We are all in this race together. The human race.

And being me shouldn’t mean you get to be any less you.

Let’s celebrate our differences while recognizing that while the packaging differs from one to the next, fundamentally we are one.

via Daily Prompt: Trademark

I’ve Become So Numb

Thoughts

Despite my best efforts to meditate, to be mindful and present, I often find it so difficult to just be. To observe without reacting.

Because when something unexpected and heart-wrenchingly hurtful happens and you feel that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach, it can be so challenging to not spiral out of control.

In my head I know that my thoughts dictate my feelings, and therefore, my actions. So how do I stop the thoughts from turning into feelings? Am I not supposed to feel? Or am I supposed to feel the feelings? Let them envelop and destroy me so I can emerge…a phoenix?

When you vacillate between feeling numb – so much nothingness, to feeling so much you don’t know if you’ll be able to handle it.

And you wish more than anything to be able to silence the deafening cacophony of those thoughts.

via Daily Prompt: Cacophony

Brave

Bravery

Many people believe being brave means being fearless.

But the truth is, being brave means being scared shitless of something but doing it anyway.

It means doing things that you’ll likely fail at. Things that will make you look stupid. Things that others may laugh at you for. Or criticize you for. Or judge you for. Or even hate you for.

And the things you’re terrified of may be things that others aren’t. It’s ok. They are your fears to face.

And face them you must.

Becuase there is no growth on this side of safe.

via Daily Prompt: Brave

Ego

ego 2

I’m not good enough.

I’m such an idiot.

I’m so fat.

I don’t have enough time.

I’m broke.

Gary van Warmerdam said, “The ego is an identity of our own construction, an identity which is false.” Others have said the same.

I am choosing to believe them.

I’m calling my ego out. I’m letting go of those limiting beliefs.

At least I’m working on it. One day at a time. Well, really it’s more like one moment at a time.

Ego, you are the fraud.

 

Taco Tuesdays

Taco Tuesday

“This is a really good day,” Esther Hicks repeated. I believed her. But then my day spiraled out of control after getting news that my employment was uncertain. I yelled at my children. I spoke unkindly of others. I whined and complained.

I was upset that I let it get the best of me. I know better. I know thoughts influence feelings and that I can control that. But I didn’t. Not even the frankincense I kept inhaling would help me shake it.

I finally felt better after a venting session over a fun meal with good friends. I’m sure the beer helped, too. Taco Tuesdays are good like that.

So I’m trying again today, Esther. Only, I’m upping the ante. This will be an exceptional day.

 

 

Intestinal Parasites, a SWAT Team & a Police Chopper: Just a Regular Tuesday Morning at my House.

miami_dade_police

My morning started with intestinal parasites, a SWAT team at my door and a police chopper circling overhead. And a very annoyed FPL guy.

Let me back it up a bit.

The Parasites

The night before, my daughter alerted us to the fact that she had something tickling her butt. Upon further inspection, we discovered tiny little squirmy things in her poop. Yes. You read that right.

Turns out it’s pinworm. You can puke. I wanted to.

So I spent all night washing and disinfecting everything in the house before going to bed.

But when I woke up to pee, I couldn’t fall asleep again because I was stressing out about all kinds of important things.

Like the intestinal parasites that are likely lurking all over my room. And possibly festering inside me.

The Bikini Wax

I began to feel itchy “down there” so I decided to investigate. I was now lying there with my legs spread, using the flashlight on my phone to inspect my parts and I realized I was in desperate need of some landscaping. But should I shave, wax or laser?

And so for the next hour, I obsessed over and debated the merits of each. At least it took my mind off the worms.

All this to say I didn’t sleep much during the night and must have fallen into a very deep sleep because I was jarred awake by someone banging incessantly at my door.

The Nudity

Now, I sleep naked.

And while I normally have my “PJs” next to the bed, they weren’t there this morning because wormies.

So, half-asleep, I found something to throw on and answered the door. A man was telling me he needed me to let him into my yard to pick up trees. He was wearing a neon vest but I noticed there was no truck parked out front.

I came inside to put on something less rapey and some sneakers and to call my husband and ask if he had called to have our trees trimmed. He told me he hadn’t and not to let the guy in. I tried going back outside to ask him for credentials but it was too late. He had decided to let himself into my yard anyway.

The Popo

At that point, I realized he was actually just there to pick up trees. But it was too late.

When I called my husband back to let him know, he informed me he had called the cops. I begged him to cancel. This poor dude is out there, sweating his ass off, just trying to do his job.

And then, I heard the chopper.

There was another knock on the door. It was an officer with some kind of assault rifle at the ready. Closely followed by like 4 more units. And the police helicopter circling my house.

I wanted to die of embarrassment.

I tried to explain to the officers (who thought they were going to thwart a home invasion) that my husband had perhaps been a little overly cautious and that calling them was completely unnecessary while they lectured me about asking for credentials.

I am certain Miami Dade’s finest went back to the station and had a good laugh watching the body cam video of the “hysterical female” who called the cops on the poor FPL dude.

Moral of the story: When in doubt, don’t call your husband.

Note to self: Schedule a bikini wax. Stat.

How did your week start out? Let me know in the comments below!

Dear Daddy: Remembering My Father

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Five years ago today, I was at work. I was afraid of losing my job. But mainly, I was afraid of losing my father.

So I went to the office to distract myself from the latter while trying to prevent the former.

My friend told me to go. To spend as much time as possible with him.

As it turns out, I would end up losing both.

I went home to try and nap a little. I didn’t know how long he had left and I don’t do well on no sleep. But I couldn’t. I was terrified that by the time I got there it would be too late.

So I rushed to my parent’s house.

And waited.

And as I waited, I wrote a letter to him. A letter which I was blessed to have been able to read to him before he passed.

We watched my father take his last breath at 12:26 a.m. on August 4, 2012.

So as I remember him on this day, I wanted to share the letter I wrote him.

Dear Daddy:

My heart is breaking as I write this. Although you’ve been sick for some time and I’ve tried to mentally prepare for this day, I don’t think anything I could have done would have prepared me for the sorrow and emptiness I’m feeling. The hopelessness. The helplessness.

I vacillate between wanting to spend your last moments with you. Needing to be there when you pass. And needing to run away from myself. Wanting to crawl out of my skin. Away from this pain. And I know that’s selfish. Becuase you’re going to a better place. A place where you’ll no longer feel pain. Or be trapped in this body that has betrayed you for so long.

And it’s selfish because mom needs me to be strong. After caring for you for so long, she needs to be taken care of. Especially now that she’s losing her companion of 44 years. The ride wasn’t always smooth. But you stuck by each other. And no matter what, you were always there for us.

So as I sit by your side and see your life reduced to a few pictures strategically chosen to show you in your youth, with your wife, with your children, and your grandchildren that I count myself blessed to have had you be able to meet – I can’t help but be sad.

This is so final. I will never be able to see your face again. Or joke around with you. All I’ll have left of you are these pictures. And my memories. And the regret that we didn’t get a chance to make more.

I hope you know how very much you were loved. Are loved. And how very much you will be missed by all who were fortunate to have known you.

I love you, Daddy